So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
