Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
