No stitches, just platelets and will power
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
