You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she told me i tasted like america
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
ttyl tear gas
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
