just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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