I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
