Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
