We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
