So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
