Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
