i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
