We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
