He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize