epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
