omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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