Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
false alarm. still invincible.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
