Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
