I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
please come you make the beer taste better
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
