me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So apparently I’m into choking now
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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