So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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