I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
