You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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