Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
