So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize