i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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