Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
should my penis look like a turkey
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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