I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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