This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
