4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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