You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize