There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
