This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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