dude i'm inner monologue high
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
