adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
