Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
