Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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