oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
