Are we in a gay sports bar?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
