Already got asked if we're dating
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
