Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
