I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
