idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize