the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
