Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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