ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
