Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
