So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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