I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
