i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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