If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
