yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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