If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
