just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
