took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
