so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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