I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
only you would photoshop your dick
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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