have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
