dude i'm inner monologue high
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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