what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
